DALLAS — Are you drowning in your to-do list? So is WFAA’s Teresa Woodard. So, here's her personal take on the high-stress holiday season:
I’m perfectly aware that life is not supposed to look like some beautiful Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, but right now my life feels like it is the polar opposite.
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
I’ve seen friends and family posting on social media about just how much stress they are feeling this year.
Our world is so divided that sometimes it’s difficult to feel hopeful and positive. I think that’s weighing on a lot of us.
For me personally though, we celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah in my family. And we also have five big birthdays within about four weeks.
So, I often feel like I’m drowning in to-do’s this time of year. But this year is different.
I woke up at 3 a.m. Friday thinking about all that to-do list. And I kept telling myself that I could accomplish nothing at that hour, so I needed to stop thinking about it. But the more I tried to stop thinking about it, the more I thought about it. And the longer I stayed awake.
I’m trying to re-frame everything from a grateful perspective. I have gratitude that there are people in my life who I love and who love me. I want to spend time with them and buy gifts for them and host parties for them and celebrate them.
So why is it so difficult to maintain that perspective? Why does it seem that our brains focus on bad things instead of good?
“Well I think our brain is always trying to help us survive, help us progress and help us move forward,” said Rebecca Corona, lead psychologist at Parkland Health and Hospital System.
“So, we’re always looking for areas where we can make improvement,” she added.
The question is how we interpret that we have room for growth.
“Is that something bad? Is it neutral? Or, is it something positive? We have some control over how we look at it," she explained.
I also feel guilty for feeling stressed out when there are so many people struggling for the basics. They don't know how they’re going to pay bills and put food on their table, so who am I to be concerned about planning a party?
“In the world of therapy, we talk a lot about unhealthy thinking habits. One of those is being self-critical,” Corona counseled. “Everybody has a different situation. We should acknowledge ours and understand it might be different from others and that’s OK.”
Corona’s next piece of advice really resonated.
“Having this assumption we’re supposed to be this way and if we’re not, then we’re a failure, then if we’re a failure we start piling on more and more criticism – that’s not very helpful,” she explained. “We need to look at things for what they are. Sometimes we’re doing our best. Sometimes there’s room for improvement.”
“If you’re able and capable, help others when you can. But if you can’t, be kind to yourself.”
Hopefully, by giving voice to these thoughts swimming around in my head, I’ll realize that if things on the to-do list don’t get done, who cares?
If it’s not a Hallmark Channel Christmas, but more of a Christmas Vacation kind of holiday, oh well – it’s more memorable that way.
“Take a deep breath,” Corona said. “Breathe in whatever is stressing you, breathe out gratitude and hopefully, you’ll see things a little differently.”
Time to give up on the idea that things need to be perfect because perfect is just not possible!
The question is – can I follow my own advice?
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