The XFL is coming to Arlington. More notably, it's coming to Globe Life Park, the longtime baseball home of the Texas Rangers.
But the team, it appears, still needs a name. We're here to help, and if the league's initial foray into franchising in 2001 is any indication, the XFL might need it.
That lone season featured the likes of the Orlando Rage (because what's more Orlando than the Most Magical Place on Earth and...rage?), the Los Angeles Xtreme (It's spelled with an "X"...get it?), the Chicago Enforcers, the Birmingham Thunderbolts, the San Francisco Demons, the Memphis Maniax and the Las Vegas Outlaws.
Only the New York/New Jersey Hitmen had a hint of local flair.
So we *tried* to stay local here, and we also avoided any punny "x" spellings. However, feel free to exchange the "s" for a "z" at the end of the plural nicknames.
Arlington Shock Wave
Among the rollercoasters at nearby Six Flags, the Titan is the tallest, the Texas Giant the most iconic, the Judge Roy Scream the most classic. But nothing rolls off the XFL-minded tongue quite like the Shock Wave, the back-to-back, 5.9 g-forced looped coaster, which turned 40 this year. Go for a ride:
The rattlesnake comes to mind quicker in Texas than a boa constrictor. But the tallest building in DFW – and the third-tallest in Texas – is the Bank of America Plaza in downtown Dallas, and the Dallas Bank of Americas just doesn't have the same ring as its abbreviation. Which brings us to the Boas. Alternate spelling: Switch out the "s" for a "z" and you get Boaz, the name of the old municipal golf course in Fort Worth. We're full of local flair here.
Texas Lone Stars
The Lone Star Park horse track is just a short drive down I-30, and no current pro sports team has taken advantage of the Lone Star State moniker. Unless you count the Dallas Stars, but they actually came to Texas as the North Stars from Minnesota. Missed opportunity on their part, if you ask us.
Take your pick. Both of these are an homage to the GM Assembly Plant in Arlington, which opened in 1954 and still cranks out hundreds of Tahoes, Suburbans and Escalades daily.
Bell Helicopter is now testing its new V-280 Valor helicopters in Arlington. V-280s or Valor might have been good ones, too.
Long live the Dallas Desperados, the now-defunct Arena Football League team that played in the American Airlines Center before folding in 2009. The indoor Desperados might be gone and the Arena league down to four teams, but the nickname is worthy of a return.
Arlington Jet Stream
Globe Life Park, for years, was infamous (or envied?) for its "jet stream" effect, making it one of the most hitter-friendly baseball stadiums in the major leagues. How this will affect a football team, we're not sure. Maybe the jet stream will help (and hurt) kickers and punters. But it would still be nice to harken back to the days of yore, long before the Rangers moved indoors and the ballpark was home-run launching pad.