DALLAS — It has been nearly three months since a young accountant and worship leader was shot and killed inside of his apartment by a Dallas Police officer. The tragic death of Botham Jean continues making international headlines. Jean’s grieving family continues searching for answers.
”The hardest day for us is a Sunday morning,” said Bertrum Jean, Botham's father, while thinking about his son.
The family says every trip to Dallas, these days, is painful.
"It makes me cry because Botham would be singing," Bertrum said. "He would be in service. It is the hardest day on a Sunday morning.”
The family’s emotions are still raw since their 26-year-old son was shot and killed inside his home by Officer Amber Guyger.
Jean’s family is from St. Lucia. His parents and sister have been asking for answers about the young accountant’s death since he was shot in the chest on Sept. 6, 2018. There have been variations in details about what exactly happened when Guyger entered Jean’s home in the South Side Flats on S. Lamar Street. Investigators say the now-fired officer claims she finished a long shift and thought it was her apartment. Guyger claims she believed the unarmed black businessman was an intruder. She is now facing manslaughter charges.
”You see the one person who cannot speak is Botham,” said his mother Allison Jean. “He’s the one that I would have depended on for the answers.”
Though the timeline for answers may be uncertain, the family is finding comfort in memories of Botham as a worship leader.
”He had a passion for music,” his sister Allissa Findley said.
Over the weekend, Botham Jean was honored by the Christian Acapella Music Academy as Worship Leader of the Year.
Botham Jean attended Dallas West Church of Christ while living and working in Dallas. Minister Sammie Berry has been monitoring how officials are handling the local investigation. Berry is among those who believe more changes need to be made across law enforcement agencies, the justice system, and at the apartment complex where the tragic shooting happened.
"Let’s continue to push for the types of changes that we need," Berry said.
Pushing past the pain of losing a son is tough. Allison, Bertrum, and Allissa say they think about Botham non-stop. For Bertrum, there’s difficulty sleeping and other challenges.
”I actually have been going to the cemetery,” Bertrum Jean said. “Just driving in and having to look at the tomb. Like I’m feeling him. Like I’m missing something. Like I want him there. Like I want to hear him for the final time.”
The family says, right now, it is just not at peace.