The Dallas Cowboys of House Jones

DALLAS - With Halloween around the corner and the 'boys recently squading up at Romo's house for some fellowship, the logical next step for the team is the best part of the October tradition: GROUP COSTUMES.  What possible theme is big enough for America's team? Let's take a trip to Westeros.  It's a Game of Jones.

Ezekiel Elliott / Daenerys Targaryen

Born out of the doom of 2015, Ezekiel "First of his name, Mover of Chains, Father of half-shirts, and Khal of the Horseshoe" Elliott has finally arrived and has put the football realm on notice.  His cleats are named Rhaegal and Viserion, complimenting his Drogon stiff arm.

The 2016 fourth-overall pick arrived in Dallas with one mindset: break records. It is said that when he was drafted into the Cowboys family, the only words spoken on the phone by Lord Jerry Jones was "Burn them all!"

With the echoes of those words constantly playing in his mind, Zeke is eyeing Eric Dickerson's NFL rookie record set in 1983 for rushing yards (1808 yds.) Elliott is sitting on 703 yards heading into the Philly game.

Tony Romo / Tyrion Lannister

Small by NFL Quarterback standards, Tony Romo has used his intelligence and his uncanny knack for avoiding defensive pressure to ascend from an unwanted member of the NFL Family to being in the Top 5 active players for highest 4th quarter QB Rating. His ability to slice defenses with the power of Valyrian steel is well chronicled, but lately forgotten.

When a raven was sent to Tony requesting comment, his reply was simple: "That's what I do, I throw and I know schemes".

The petition to receive permission for a "Dragon Glass" back brace for in-game use upon his return is still pending with the league office as of article publication.

Dez Bryant / Jon Snow

Betrayed by his own body, the X factor had been resurrected from foot injuries that cost him his 2015 season, but has largely been inactive or ineffective for 2016.

Now healthy after the bye and eager to make up for lost time, Bryant's focus for the remainder of the season is to prove that he IS the prince that was promised… an $80,000,000 deal.

Rumors of a costume contest with Odell Beckham of House Bolton ("Our outfits are sharp") to lay claim to the term "King in the East" is unconfirmed at this time.

Jerry Jones / Aerys Targaryen

Once upon a time, he was the King of the greatest dynasty ever seen in the NFL. Internal conflicts and the Bellichick rebellion of the 2000's had largely led to his house being a forgotten part of NFL lore.

With the memories of past draft mistakes haunting his legacy, Jones listened to his war council in the creation of his offensive line fleet, avoiding the temptations promised by Johnny Manziel of House Baratheon.

Now he has Zeke running his kingdom, while Manziel ate, drank, and partied his way to an early retirement.

With the "Mover of Chains" leading the charge, Jones has placed all hope in the newest addition to his House ending the long night and returning the Cowboys to the Sterling Silver throne.

Jerry probably already has an iron throne at The Star in Frisco, and a closet rivaling any Westerosi elite.

Dak Prescott/ The Three eyed Raven

The Cowboys season has been saved by the former SEC product. He used his sight of a thousand eyes and one to break Tom Brady's NFL record for most passes without an interception to start a career, finally settling on 176 before the door broke.

He faces Carson Wentz, who probably dressed as one of these Philly legends, in a battle for the NFC East Sunday night between two rookie signal callers.

Cole Beasley/ Lyanna Mormont

The man from Elm island has ascended as an integral leader of the Cowboys Receiver core. Beasley has stepped up while Bryant has been out, and is currently the Cowboys leader in receiving yards (390) and overall touchdowns with 7.

Cowboys Offensive Line / Targaryen Fleet

The Cowboys would not be sitting atop the NFC without their bruising monsters up front. Assisting the mover of chains in the War for the Pylon is the strongest fleet of Offensive Lineman ever assembled.

Tyron Smith / House Tyrell

The Tyrells are known to have the largest army in Westeros, and Smith is the perfect embodiment. Standing Six foot-five and an all-pro tackle three seasons running (2014 First-team, 2013 & 2015 Second-team), Smith is the powerhouse of the Dallas offensive line.

Zach Martin / House Greyjoy

Young but a proven force, Zach Martin is 25 years old and is already a two-time All-Pro selection (2014 First team, 2015 Second team).

Travis Frederick / House Martell

As the Center of the Offensive line, Frederick embodies the House Martell words of "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken". Frederick is a two-time Second-team All-Pro (2014, 2015) selection.

Lae'l Collins / Unsullied

Collins endured a terrible backstory that caused him to go undrafted in the 2015 NFL draft.

Earning his starting spot by mid-season in his rookie year, Collins entered the 2016 season as a day one starter and next in line to Doug Free's dominion over right tackle. Injuries have led to speculation that Ron Leary may be asking for a costume swap.

Doug Free / Dothraki

While he may not have the best tools, he is an integral part of the offensive line.

Like the Dothraki, Free is not afraid to get dirty to fight for every inch as he led the Cowboys in penalties last season with nine.

Jason Witten / Bronn

Jason Witten and Tony Romo have been together in Dallas since 2003, and he has served the everyman role in the Dallas offense ever since. Known as Tony's security blanket, Witten is as reliable as they come. 

Jaylon Smith / Jaime Lannister

Drafted 34th overall by the Cowboys in the second round of the 2016 NFL Draft, Jaylon arrived in Dallas with an impeccable record of college dominance.

He was awarded The Butkus Award his junior season before suffering a potentially career threatening injury. Jaylon is spending his 2016 recuperating and training to be the lethal defensive force that stories were written about just a few years ago. The "Drive Slayer" nickname will have to wait until next year.

Rolando McClain / Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

Top 10 pick; NFL bust; Cowboys savior; NFL bust.

The tale of Rolando McClain is a story of two faces.

Sean Lee / Gendry Baratheon

When healthy, Sean Lee has all the tools to be the trueborn heir to the Dallas defensive throne. The Cowboys have been eagerly anticipating these results since drafting him out of "Linebacker U" in the second round of the 2010 NFL draft. 

Lee is quietly having a great 2016 so far, leading the Cowboys with 58 tackles heading into Philly. The wince from fans is a reflex at this point. We have a higher chance of seeing the Baratheon heir again than we do a full season of Lee. The seed is strong, but the bones are brittle.

Let Irvin know that he forgot about Jason Garrett dressing up as Sansa Stark on Twitter @twittirv.

Copyright 2016 WFAA


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