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Ed and Lisa Young share the same problems as other parents.

GRAPEVINE — Fellowship Church in Grapevine is one of the fastest-growing congregations in the country. Pastor Ed Young and wife Lisa have worked hard to ensure its success.

Behind the scenes, they have also been raising four children—and it hasn't always been easy.

The Youngs are not the only ones dealing with kids trying to take over the family. Pastor Young said congregation members were constantly asking him for help.

That's why he wrote a book about the subject: "Kid CEO — How to keep your children from running your life."

"I believe the parents should run the show," he said. "Not that we wouldn't give our lives for our kids, but we've got to be in charge. Lisa and I tell parents all the time, hey, you've got to 'fire' your own kids, move them out of the corner office."

Young believes that when a man and woman marry, they occupy the leadership roles. But as children enter the family, everything changes.

Kids slowly become the center of the family universe. In some cases, parents relinquish control to them.

In effect, Young says, children become "kid CEOs," and parents become the support staff.

"We saw in all of our kids—when they were around one or two—it's as if they crossed their arms defiantly from their playpen, and they kind of cased the joint and they said, 'You know what? We are going to take over,'" Young said. "It's like this hostile takeover situation, and we still deal with it."

"There's a struggle with your children and you're giving in all the time," Lisa Young said. "You do feel like, yes, I'm giving in to all these things, and it's causing a financial burden, it's causing a relational burden between my husband and I."

If your kids are ruling the roost, it can be devastating on a family and on a marriage.

Ed Young suggests that if you are feeling constantly overwhelmed and there is no communication between you and your spouse, you may want to try and reclaim your leadership roles. Here's how:

• rebuild spiritual foundations

• strengthen family structures

• maintain your own relationship with your spouse

• understand discipline; don't be afraid to say "no"

• raise well-balanced kids

E-mail jhyland@wfaa.com