You woke up today and were probably thinking, "Well, I haven't planned my Evvy Awards party yet for this year." Then you probably opened your newspaper or your browser, saw that the big day was upon you – the fourth annual Evvy Awards – and you panicked.

Don't worry. Wipe up whatever you dropped or spilled. Grab a warm cup of coffee or a cool glass of water and sit down, because we've got your pass for the hardest awards show in the business to score a ticket to. You know why? There are no tickets. Ha, we've got a million of these and we'll be here all night. So without further delay, commercial interruption or a poorly choreographed medley of TV show theme songs, let's turn it over to our host ... well, Evan Grant. (Please note, all statistics are through Thursday.)

• Doubles: 367

• Players used: 55

• Runs scored in a loss: 17

• Walks allowed with bases loaded: 22

The winner is: Though the offense was prolific, other Rangers teams have been even more productive. This team will be remembered for awful pitching. There may be no better example than the 22 walks the club allowed with the bases loaded. Since 1974 (the first time the stat was tracked), only four major league teams issued more. The Rangers surpassed the 1987 team's mark of 21 when Bill White walked the Angels' Gary Matthews Jr. on Sept. 20. Joaquin Benoit led the team with four. Also with the bases loaded, the Rangers hit four batters and threw two wild pitches.

• Rangers 1, Minnesota 0 (July 20) and Rangers 1, Seattle 0 (Sept. 3) – Co-nominees.

• Rangers 9, New York 5 (Aug. 4)

• Rangers 7, Oakland 0 (Sept. 12)

• Red Sox 19, Rangers 17 (Aug. 12)

The winner is: The season's high point (the walk-off Yankee win) and low point (the dreadful loss in Boston) took place within a 10-day span and were probably the two most memorable moments of the season. The win over Oakland was significant for Matt Harrison's becoming the first Rangers rookie in five years to pitch a nine-inning shutout. But 1-0 games are things of beauty and they've been rare, rare. The one on July 20, started by Vicente Padilla, was the Rangers' first 1-0 win since 2004. The one on Sept. 3, started by Dustin Nippert, was the first 1-0 win in Arlington since 2000. Easier to remember details and specific pitches of a 1-0 win because there isn't a bunch of other junk to clutter up your mind.

• Marlon Byrd for "Good Night, New York" (Aug. 4)

• Josh Hamilton for "Most Amazing Story Ever Told" (July 15)

• Matt Harrison for "Rookie Ball" (Sept. 12)

• Ramon Vazquez for "Seattle Slew" (May 12)

The winner is: Vazquez had a pair of walk-off hits against Seattle; on May 12, he capped the Rangers' ninth win in 12 games. Harrison's shutout of Oakland was an important moment for him. Hamilton's round of 28 homers at the All-Star Game festivities was a moment of baseball history. But it was still just an exhibition. Marlon Byrd's walk-off grand slam on Aug. 4 was the high point of the season. It pushed the Rangers to five games above .500 for the first time and gave fans an ever-so-brief hope that a most unlikely playoff race might be on the way.

• Milton Bradley

• Chris Davis

• Josh Hamilton

• Ian Kinsler

The winner is: Do we even need to run down the reasons Josh Hamilton is the runaway winner here? Sure, Bradley, Davis and Kinsler had outstanding seasons, but none of them played more than 130 games in the majors. Hamilton, out of baseball three years ago, became more than just a story of faith and perseverance. No longer was his story just about a comeback. It was about being one of the league's best hitters. And though his power numbers petered out in September, Hamilton went into the final weekend as one of four major leaguers to hit at least 30 homers and drive in 120 runs and bat at least .300 this season.

• Brandon Boggs

• Chris Davis

• Matt Harrison

• Warner Madrigal

• Taylor Teagarden

The winner is: Since a total of 12 players made their major league debuts in 2008, the Rangers got more contributions from rookies than in recent years. Nobody had more impact than Chris Davis, who entered the final weekend with 16 homers and 53 RBIs despite only 284 big league at-bats. Davis had an additional 23 homers and 73 RBIs in the minors. And, at 22, he was the second youngest of the 12. Pitcher Tommy Hunter is 3 ½ months younger.

• Milton Bradley for "The Lineup: A Mystery"

• Sidney Ponson for "One Night in St. Pete"

• Ron Washington for "Still Here"

• C.J. Wilson for "Flipping Out"

The winner is: The only damper on Bradley's season was his many ailments that forced him to miss more than 30 games despite never going on the disabled list. Ponson's act opened and closed all in a month, with the closing partly stemming from an incident at a hotel bar. Wilson's meltdown was full of intrigue, from his casual flip of the ball on the mound to Ron Washington to his decision to have surgery shortly after being pulled out of the closer's role. For pure, hard-core drama, though, nothing compares to how Ron Washington staved off his firing early in the year. It appeared a decision to act had been made, but the club's amazing run back to .500 kept earning him reprieves until a managerial change was no longer an issue.

In a separate ceremony (also attended by nobody), the following special achievements were honored:

• Variety special: Not only did German Duran make his major league debut, he also started at five positions (three infield, two outfield) and might have put himself in position to be the utility man in 2009.

• Stunt coordination: Nothing comes close to the rain-delay, impromptu slip-and-slide on the Shea Stadium tarp. Milton Bradley, Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, Gerald Laird, Josh Rupe and Michael Young had even New York fans cheering for them when they disobeyed security guards for one final synchronized slide.

• Cameo appearance: With 55 players on the roster, a handful were bound to appear in less than a handful of games. Reliever Brian Gordon entered the weekend with two appearances, both incredibly special for a 30-year-old rookie who spent his first 10 professional seasons as an outfielder.

• Foreign export: It seems so long ago that Jason Botts was the Rangers' great minor league power-hitting hope. But the rise of Chris Davis and Taylor Teagarden make it easy to forget that Botts started the season in the majors and is now with the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters in Japan.

• Iron man: Converted starter Jamey Wright had never appeared in more than 33 games. He more than doubled that, entering the weekend with 74 appearances, tied for the most ever by a Rangers right-handed pitcher.