Transfer leaves anxiety attacks behind in helping Shockers reach Sweet 16

01:36 PM CST on Friday, March 24, 2006

By BRAD TOWNSEND / The Dallas Morning News

WASHINGTON – Jesuit graduate Kyle Wilson knows that when he takes the court tonight, it will kindle recognition among TV viewers.

Isn't he the kid who transferred from Illinois after having anxiety attacks?

Yes, he is. But he is 22 now. He is Wichita State's third-leading scorer. His Shockers are in the Washington Region semifinals, and if they beat No. 11 seed George Mason tonight, they'll be in the Elite Eight.

"When you make a life-changing decision, you just hope that path leads you in the right direction," Wilson said Thursday before the Shockers practiced at the Verizon Center. "I just tried to put the pieces together to where I'd be happy.

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"I've got to say, it's probably turned out better than I imaged it would."

Wilson hasn't had an anxiety attack in almost three years. He was on medication for about six months after being diagnosed with a stress-related situational anxiety disorder, but no longer is being treated.

Much has happened, most of it good, since the 6-8, 238-pound forward transferred in May 2003 and sat out the 2003-04 season.

Wilson realizes that many fans, including in his hometown of Plano, lost track after he left a Big Ten powerhouse for a Missouri Valley Conference school that had not reached the NCAA Tournament since 1988.

But he hasn't forgotten the dozens of people who sent cards and letters after he talked publicly about his disorder, including in The Dallas Morning News. Many of the thank-yous came from people who had battled depression.

"Hopefully there's a sense of pride when they see me," Wilson said. "I hope that they're happy to see that I'm doing really well now. That was obviously a tough stretch for me and my family. I know my family is very happy with where I am."

Parents Steve and Jackie, both Wichita natives, were scheduled to travel from Plano for tonight's game – and perhaps another Sunday against tonight's Connecticut-Washington winner.

"It's been a good ride," Steve said of his son's three years (two seasons) in Wichita. "We have a lot of family and friends there. It's been a good place for him to be."

Texas A&M coach Billy Gillispie has many reasons to remember Kyle.

Gillispie was the Illinois assistant who recruited Wilson. Gillispie and then-Illinois coach Bill Self "fell in love" with Wilson during his junior year at Jesuit, when he narrowed his college choices to Illinois and Notre Dame.

Wilson's moppy hair and inside-outside versatility reminded Gillispie of a 6-8 Dirk Nowitzki. Gillispie also never will forget the Sept. 11, 2001, morning when he and Self showed up at Jesuit to see Wilson and found out about the terrorist attacks.

As an Illinois freshman, Wilson scored 14 points in the opener against Lehigh and 11 in the next game, against Arkansas-Pine Bluff, but the coaches soon became concerned about Wilson's uneven behavior.

On some days, he dived for loose balls at practice and was the most aggressive player on the court. On others, he seemed listless, detached.

Then came the day he didn't show up at all. One of the coaches phoned Steve Wilson at work. He didn't know his son's whereabouts, either. A couple of hours later, someone found Kyle at a church.

That was the first sign. Wilson's parents and the Illini coaches thought Kyle might be homesick. Soon after, Steve Wilson says, Kyle found another "coping mechanism" – driving around Champaign, Ill., in his car.

Upon reflection, Steve Wilson says he and wife Jackie are grateful that Kyle "didn't turn to other relief mechanisms like drugs or alcohol."

Feeling trapped, wanting to hide and wondering if he was losing his mind, Wilson would skip classes while walking aimlessly around campus. At first his getaway drives were 30 minutes, then an hour, then two.

Then in the middle of a night in February 2003 he began the 12-hour drive to Plano. Steve and Jackie took him to a doctor. Parents and son were relieved once a diagnosis was made and Kyle could be treated.

He returned to Illinois and sat out the last six regular-season games but played in the Big Ten tournament and NCAA Tournament as the Illini advanced to the round of 32.

So in several respects he has come full circle, and then some.

"He's a great kid from a great family," Gillispie said. "It's so good to see him turn out to be as good as we thought he'd be."

Wilson averages 11.2 points, 5.7 rebounds and has shot 43.5 percent (40-92) from 3-point range this season, but statistics are not the most revealing indicator of how far he has come.

A year ago, he earned a pilot's license. Last summer, he and a teammate went skydiving just south of Wichita.

"I think he's through his panic-anxiety," Steve said with a laugh. "Now he's creating it [for his parents] by jumping out of airplanes."

Thursday, a little more than 24 hours before the biggest game of his life, Kyle smiled when asked if flying and jumping from airplanes signified some kind of transformation from depression to free spirit.

"Maybe after all that happened, I started realizing maybe there's more to life," he said. "Things I wanted to do, instead of being hesitant, I just started going for it.

"I just don't want to regret parts of my life. That's how I'm trying to live. I think that's kind of how I play. I don't want there to be any regrets, especially in the NCAA Tournament. You just want to leave it all out there."

Staff Writer Rachel Cohen contributed to this report.

E-mail btownsend@dallasnews.com

Kyle Wilson is one of seven Wichita State players who played high school basketball in Texas. Guards Karon Bradley, Nick Rogers , P.J. Couisnard and Wendell Preadom are from Houston. Guard Matt Braeuer is from Belton.

Burleson's Phillip Thomasson is a 6-7 forward who is sitting out this season after transferring from Colorado State.

According to the Web site anxietypanic.com, one out of every 75 people worldwide experiences a panic attack during their lives.

A panic, or anxiety, attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming fear that comes without warning or any obvious reason.

There are various causes for anxiety attacks. In Kyle Wilson's case, doctors diagnosed him with having a stress-related situational anxiety disorder. Doctors say that those who suffer panic attacks often have their first occur during their college years, often brought on by stress.