05:24 PM CDT on Monday, October 25, 2004

Dallas-area resident Ladd Biro writes a weekly fantasy football column for CowboysPlus.com and WFAA.com His column appears Monday afternoon during the NFL season.

I have never been a big fan of baseball.

I suppose there’s something to be said for a sport where you can read the newspaper cover-to-cover during an average inning without missing a thing. And I’m always fascinated by the sheer volume of gum, tobacco, cud and other saliva-stimulating chewables that big-leaguers can cram into their mouths. (By the way, is it really a sport if you can eat while playing?)

Despite my ambivalence, I always tune in during the playoffs and World Series, because I’d never forgive myself if I missed something historic, such as a game that runs under four hours.

But there’s one thing I truly appreciate about baseball: the utter lack of self-absorbed showboaters. If Johnny Damon’s grand slam against the Yankees had happened in the NFL, he would still be pounding his chest, flexing his biceps and standing on home plate, arms lifted to the heavens, soaking up the adulation of Red Sox fans. Instead, he trotted briskly around the bases and headed straight for the dugout, where his teammates exchanged high-fives and went right back to work.

Can you imagine if Terrell Owens hit a game-winning home run? During the seven or eight minutes it took him to round the bases, T.O. would have spiked his bat at the pitcher’s feet, noogied the first baseman, moonwalked from second to third, slid in slow motion into home, sprinted right past his cheering teammates and jumped on top of the dugout to throw hidden boxes of Cracker Jacks into the stands.

I can see Chad Johnson at the plate, taunting the pitcher after every ball. Dare to throw a strike, and he’d call a news conference to explain how the ump, the pitcher, the catcher and Ben Affleck were in cahoots to unfairly widen his strike zone.

Watch Martin Grammatica field a routine fly ball, then leap into the arms of everyone on the field, including the bat boys.

What a sight it would be if Javon Walker and Donald Driver turned a double play. Are you ready for the Fenway Leap over the Green Monster?

Put Keyshawn Johnson on the mound, and there’d be no more need for an umpire. Keyshawn would call every strike with the flourish of an NFL referee signaling first down while griping at his catcher to throw him the damn ball back already.

Then again, maybe a little unsportsmanlike conduct wouldn’t be all bad for baseball. Wouldn’t you tune in to see Ray Lewis playing shortstop when T.O. tries to steal second?

To win a fantasy championship, you need to start with a good draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents is equally important. Here’s a look at a few players worth grabbing and others who would look better in someone else’s lineup.

• Billy Volek, QB, Tennessee: Suddenly, the invincible Steve McNair is very “vincible.” After he aggravated his injured sternum early in Sunday’s game, Volek took over and threw for just 190 yards and three picks. (By the way, thanks for notching both of those passing yards before leaving, Steve; that really helped in my matchup with Peyton Manning.) Volek has talent, though, and with a week of reps with the first team, he should do well in McNair’s place.

• Derrick Blaylock, RB, Kansas City: After Priest Holmes suffered a sprained ankle in the Chiefs’ romp over Atlanta, Blaylock showed that he, too, has a nose for the end zone. He rushed for four touchdowns of his own. You can bet Blaylock will be the most sought free agent this week. Don’t wait to hear how severe Priest’s injury is before making your move.

• Jesse Chatman, RB, San Diego: LaDainian Tomlinson missed a couple of important series in Sunday’s game, apparently because of a nagging groin injury. Chatman relieved him again, and he scored his third touchdown of the season. If you have L.T. and haven’t locked up Chatman yet, stop waiting. Even if you don’t have L.T., Chatman is one play from being a significant fantasy producer.

• Jerry Porter, WR, Oakland: Just when you thought it was safe to dump him, Porter comes up big against the Saints. He notched 113 yards receiving and a TD in his first good game of the season. Maybe all his griping has paid off. If Kerry Collins has finally figured out that he is his best wideout, Porter could finally play up to expectations.

• Neil Rackers, K, Arizona: Three field goals of 50 yards or more in one game does three things: wins the game for your team, ties an NFL record, and gets you a starting job on thousands of fantasy teams. I’ll bet it’s the latter that thrills him most.

• Brian Griese, QB, Tampa Bay: Griese appears to have solidified his role as Bucs starter, but don’t expect a repeat of the 15 minutes in Denver when he was a fantasy star. Tampa Bay’s offense just isn’t very good, and Griese isn’t much better.

• Brad Hoover, RB, Carolina: Hoover put up 99 yards against a good San Diego run defense, as Stephen Davis was held out because of his gimpy knee. But Davis should be back in the lineup against Seattle on Halloween, so Hoover won’t suck up many more carries. If Davis has another setback, though, then Hoover might justify a short-term roster spot.

• Todd Pinkston, WR, Philadelphia: With six receptions for 100 yards, you might be tempted to think the guy starting opposite T.O. is finally worth a roster spot. Slap yourself, and look elsewhere. Pinkston had 11 catches for 145 yards in Philly’s five previous games.

• Shaun McDonald, WR, St. Louis: This guy sure makes some big plays, but he just doesn’t get enough passes to make him a dependable fantasy performer. Keep an eye on him after the Rams’ bye, though. He definitely has potential, and if Holt or Bruce are injured, his value would skyrocket.

…thinks the Chiefs’ defense is suddenly for real. Holding Michael Vick & Company to just 10 points is no great feat (Detroit and Arizona held them to 10 and six, respectively). Kansas City’s best defense is its offense, which racked up 56 points and forced Vick to throw too often in a desperate attempt to keep pace. Against better offenses, KC will yield plenty of big scores. For instance, this weekend against Indy.

• Trade Reggie Wayne, WR, Indianapolis. I’m going out on a limb here, but I don’t think pushing Peyton Manning in the chest while arguing on the sideline of a close game is a good career move for Wayne. It sure didn’t get him any extra looks, as he hauled in just two catches for 20 yards. I’ve been saying for weeks that Wayne is about to supplant Marvin Harrison as the No. 1 receiver in Indy, but I didn’t expect him to go off on his quarterback like that. If you can get substantial value for him in a trade, it might be a smart move.