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Blue-plate special
Ron White aims low in his standup act, taped in Dallas
Comedy Central has ample practice in bleeping, particularly during its annual Friar's Club celebrity roasts. Ron White's relentlessly dicey standup act still might pose a challenge, though. Taped during a September performance at Dallas' Majestic Theatre, it's top-heavy with low-aiming jokes about private appendages of both sexes. The 49-year-old Fritch, Texas, native, who got his start at Dallas-area comedy clubs, fittingly wears deep blue from head to toe. His material is even deeply bluer. Mr. White, otherwise part of the Blue Collar Comedy quartet with Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and fellow Texan Bill Engvall, has a new DVD coming out Tuesday. Tonight's Comedy Central special, timed to boost sales, finds Mr. White happily basking in home-state laughter while indulging in two of his favorite G-rated vices – scotch-drinking and cigar-smoking. The comic's remarkably white teeth and unusually full head of hair suggest he's been artificially enhanced since hitting it big. His jokes haven't evolved much, though. He likens his uniquely male organ to a "cheese wheel" and his wife's time of the month to consumer fraud. "If the roller coaster's broken, they don't shut down the amusement park," Mr. White says of her disinclination to have sex with him under such circumstances. He has a nice laidback delivery and even a funny joke or two that can be printed in its entirety here. While touring in the frozen North, for instance, he encountered a thermometer that registered zero. "What's the temperature outside?" his wife supposedly asked him from the comfort of their tour bus. "And I said, 'There's not one." His tagline – "You can't fix stupid" – refers to the fact that you can repair just about any physical shortcoming these days. But he doesn't elaborate with a Jeff Foxworthy-like "You might be a redneck" litany. Perhaps his special was stupidly edited. Mr. White had a full, boisterous house for this performance. It's a case of local boy made good, so let's give him that. His material otherwise is a sow's ear, not a silk purse. Fans will drink it in while he drinks up. If it ain't broke, he won't fix it. E-mail ebark@dallasnews.com Ron White: You Can't Fix Stupid Grade: C 8 tonight, Comedy Central. 1 hr.
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