Sotheby's vice chairman Jamie Niven, son of actor David Niven, doesn't have his father's matinee-idol face, but he more than makes up for it. He has charm and repartee that could sweep Brigitte Bardot, Gina Lollobrigida and Angelina Jolie off their feet in the same night.

As the auctioneer at Saturday night's Two by Two for AIDS and Art gala, Jamie faced the daunting task of squeezing big money out of a Dallas crowd, most of whom had seen their net worth plummet in the last 60 days.

So he quoted Warren Buffett: "Be fearful when others are greedy; and be greedy when others are fearful."

That launched a stampede of bidding into the hundreds of thousands of dollars for works by Andy Warhol, Jim Hodges and others. Along the way, he tweaked the noses of guests like Jerry Jones.

"[Expletive deleted], Jerry, the Cowboys have got to beat those [expletive deleted] Bucs," Jamie inveighed.

By the time the adding-machine tape stopped running, Two by Two raised more than $4 million for the American Foundation for AIDS Research and the Dallas Museum of Art, up 20 percent from last year.

Actress Sigourney Weaver attended Two by Two, and unlike her last visit to the gala, she was determined to keep her clothes on.

In 2001, she was at Two by Two and told of how artist-director Julian Schnabel had mocked her breasts. So she faced the Dallas crowd and patted the top of her strapless dress, and quite unintentionally, popped right out of it.

This year, when she took the stage, she could hear the Dallasites murmuring about the heavy straps of her gown covering her shoulders. "Yes," she said, "I wore a dress that I won't come out of."

Part-time Dallasite George Michael was to have performed at the Two by Two post-auction party. But soon after he agreed to come, the London police detained him for another chat about possessing drugs in a London public restroom. He quietly backed out of his Dallas engagement.

Instead, after Jamie Niven auctioned off the high-dollar art, the tent at the Rachofsky house was converted into a nightclub, and pop star Taylor Dayne sang a set.

Who was that dining Monday night with Dallas doyennes Carolyn Lupton and Caroline Rose Hunt?

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

It was actor Jim Nabors (a.k.a. Gomer Pyle) and comedian Ruth Buzzi.

The group took over a table in the back room at Dunston's steakhouse on Lovers Lane.

In this age of iPhones, everyone has a camera. Jim and Ruth happily posed for pictures with diners who approached.