Hansen in the A.M.: Airline security

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by DALE HANSEN / WFAA-TV

wfaa.com

Posted on February 1, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Updated Thursday, Feb 11 at 3:54 PM

I haven't been here for a couple of weeks. Not because I didn't have anything to say (because — maybe unfortunately — I always do), but it's been a busy couple of weeks.

Christmas three weeks ago. New Year's Day. And then a trip to Pasadena for the Texas-Alabama game.

I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this, but I hate flying. Oh, the flying part is great; the getting off part even better.

It's the getting on part I just can't stand.

We spend a gazillion dollars trying to make the skies safe, and the things we come up with to do it just drive me nuts.

Mouthwash has to be in a three-ounce bottle; apparently they know we have to gargle, just not a gargle a lot.

Some nut tries to blow up a plane with a shoe bomb, so we have to take our shoes off.

Now a guy puts a bomb in his pants, and yet we don't have to take our pants off (at least not yet; soon, maybe, but not yet).

And because of that guy, on an international flight you can't leave your seat in the final hour. Seven hours you're in the air, but the final hour you have to stay in your seat.

Apparently our security experts think these mad men are willing to die to make their point — they're just not willing to die until the movie's over.

It was Ben Franklin who said, "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Ben Franklin and I might be the only ones who believe that, but then he didn't have mad men blowing up planes when he said it, either.

Oh, there was one little fun moment in the airport restaurant: After going through security, trying to get a beer with lunch, the woman cards me! Apparently they have a big problem in L.A. with underage kids buying plane tickets so they can drink at the airport bar.

Now if I was running a bar and concerned about serving someone under age, I might card Cynthia; Chris Flanagan, too. And I'd definitely card Greg Fields, with or without the mustache.

But me?! Who comes up with such a dumb rule?

Now I know I look at least 36 (maybe 38), and I'm not giving an ID to buy a beer, but maybe it's a good thing.

Now I can stay in my seat that last hour.

E-mail dhansen@wfaa.com

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