McCaa Uncut: Gone home alone



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Posted on April 16, 2010 at 4:13 PM

Updated Saturday, Apr 17 at 9:53 PM

I still can't get over the American mother returning her adopted child to his native Russia because she found him too much to handle.

It sounds as if she had not given adoption enough thought.

We've been talking about this on Facebook this week.

Let's be clear, special needs children anywhere, have special needs. They come into the home on many occasions with very severe adjustment problems. They have been abused, sometimes for much of their life.

But throughout the adoption process, parents are made aware of situations that might develop, of extra help for them.

Tennessee authorities say this family never reached out for that help.

The family says the Russians lied to them about the boy's mental stability.

That may be true, I don't know.

But it was the American mother who bought the 7-year-old a one way ticket, put him on a plane alone, sent him back to Moscow with a note.

Again and again my Facebook friends say: We're talking about a child, not a toy.

I agree - this is not Toys"R"Us, where you can come in and pick up a child one day and the next, send them back, postage paid, with a note about a defect.

We probably should have kept the kid and sent the parent packing.

I won't minimize the agony this child might have put the family through but the grown ups in this should have known better, should have triple checked everything, and been triple checked.

That's what usually happens. It's why I think adopted kids usually are luckier than the rest of us: somebody checked out their family before they arrived.

If this boy did have problems before, they're much worse now because now he really has been abandoned.

His dream come true is now a nightmare.

My thoughts, tell me yours: