This is an article about a play. In a football game. Ostensibly. But it’s really an article about a tweet. About a football game.

This is America in 2017. The most depraved thing you can do is be wholesome. Punk rock is all about respecting females now. The most gangster thing you can do is volunteer at the shelter.


The Play: 3rd and 3, 4:08 in the fourth quarter: 81 yard to touchdown to Rod Smith

For about a year and a half, we all marveled that Dak Prescott was a historic exception in terms of accuracy and decision making. Then, for the past month, he’s been extraordinarily normal in terms of accuracy and decision making.

The normal Dak was present in New York - the normal as in the Dak who seems like a normal second year quarterback, not the Dak we’re accustomed to as normal, which is the statistical outlier Dak.

But, then, the dam broke. He got Cole Beasley with space and 54 yards later found Jason Witten on a dime for a 20 yard touchdown. A NYG drive that was long plays (8) but short on yards (29) later, and Prescott had Dallas on third and 3 with a one score lead.

He saw NY going empty across the middle, and sent Rod Smith - backup running back Rod Smith, pressed into duty because of the Elliott suspension Rod Smith, Rod Smith who began the season with two professional carries for five yards, that Rod Smith.

Prescott audibled Smith to a slant, right to that vacated middle fo the field. It worked.

That was the play. That brought up this tweet:

Generally the word ‘boobie’ is only used in three meanings; one, a small bird; two, the former Permian State running back, and 3: well… you know what three is.

Going back to the nexus of Rod Smith’s production as a running back, and it’s in no small part to Ezekiel Elliott exposing… well… #3.

Fairly enough, Zeke would clarify.

That clarification came in reply to Or Moyal. You might recognize Or Moyal. He’s WFAA’s Managing Sports Editor. He’s my boss. I have eaten his couscous on multiple occasions, and he once played me out of a party with Yackety Sax on a piano. He also carries around more general sports knowledge on his off day than ninety per cent of the breathless chuds in his menchies and DMs yesterday will accumulate over their peak years, but that’s neither here nor there.

So let’s focus for a second on how bad of a nickname Boobie is for a running back. Sure, Boobie was great, but he’s noteworthy for injuring his knee and washing out - Rod Smith is far more accomplished as an athlete than Boobie Miles (no disrespect to Boobie). This would be akin to calling Rick Gosselin by my name, and acting like it’s a compliment.

How about Not Jaylon? At first, it would be discouraging, sure, but eventually Rod would outperform Jaylon in a game (and maybe outproduce Jaylon for the entire season in one game). Then, you could hug him, in pride, and say ‘I always knew you were Not Jaylon’ and it would be a heartwarming moment for all involved.

Not Jaylon would punctuate his performance with another touchdown to set the final score at 30-10, a score that doesn’t tell the truth as to how close the game was, until Dak might have set himself to rights.

Come up with your own nicknames for Rod Smith and share them with Joe on Twitter @thejoeursery.