Bobby Wilson hit two grand slams in a week because the universe is chaos and beauty

This is the face you make when you have seen magic and you are magic.Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
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Imagine this: you walk out your front door in North Texas, and you see a koala bear fighting an alligator. And the koala is winning. And you want to just sit and watch, because these aren’t even indigenous species, and how did they even get here, and what are they fighting about, but you’re a responsible adult, so you call 911 even though you’re not sure if this classifies as an emergency, but they say they’ll send animal control, and you film the rest of the fight until they show up and take the koala and alligator to no-kill shelters. That’s pretty improbable, right?

Now imagine it happened again a week later. And you call 911 and when animal control comes again, you ask why they let them loose, and they respond, “we didn’t… this is a whole different koala bear and alligator fight in front of your house in North Texas.”

That’s what it’s like seeing Bobby Wilson hit his second grand slam in seven days.

Let’s put it into context. Briefly going over Bobby Wilson’s career numbers coming into the season, we’ll see that he had a batting average of .204 with an OPS of .570 in 525 Major League at-bats coming into the season. I am so flummoxed by the occurrence I just witnessed that I used the clause "coming into this season" twice in one sentence. He had 9 home runs before this year... Look-- Bobby Wilson is a plus-defensive catcher, and provides fantastic value there. He hit one home run for Texas last year, and that was a fun bonus!

Do you know who has two grand slams in their career? A lot of people, but for the sake of my narrative, I’m going to point out Bryce Harper (108 career home runs). You know who only has one? Derek Jeter (260 career home runs). Glen Davis, who hit 190 home runs in his career, never got one with the bases juiced. The grand slam is not just about hitting home runs, it’s about having the opportunity to even bat with the bases loaded. (okay, and then it’s about hitting home runs. But you need the help of your teammates!)

So when Bobby Wilson held his own personal koala bear and alligator fight in Detroit on May 8th (last Sunday!) and hit the first grand slam for the Rangers since August of 2014, it was unexpected! I wrote a whole game story centered around it!

But tonight, when Ryan Rua walked to load the bases in the second inning, nobody in their right mind expected to get so lucky twice.

So naturally, Bobby Wilson hit another grand slam, you guys.

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